4 soccer burnout repairs every parent should know

Achieving the work-life balance is hard. Mostly because our lives are more often like how-to-make-my-work-fit-into-the-life-I-want. We want to be great parents, give our kids opportunity and have fun while doing it. The ‘balancing’ of it can seem impossible, but it all works out. And as busy as you are juggling this adventure we call life, imagine what the busy-ness is doing to your kids. Some parents worry about soccer burnout for different reasons. Some kids need more training and others need less.

Kids are so special – and part of what makes them special is that they are innocent. They don’t know how to juggle excessive demands. They understand simple things – like how to have fun, how to adore their parents and authority figures, and how to be kind. When they’re anything else its usually because something is off in their world. So usually when I hear a phrase like a kid has changed or do not enjoy soccer anymore, most often I find they are experiencing a bad soccer situation with a coach or teammates.

What is soccer burnout?

The medical experts at the Mayo Clinic define burnout as stress – ‘a state of physical, emotional or mental exhaustion’ – and in soccer this may include a breakdown of a normally healthy child in one of these ways. I think the ages you want to be careful are ages 6-9. This is when some of them really don’t understand sports, like other kids. Some kids really just love soccer so much that they want to train extra every single week year after year. This type of player knows that to improve you have to do the same things over and over.

What does soccer burnout look like?

A few ways burnout may appear include a change in grades, a lack of energy or focus, making excuses where previously none were needed, turning to less healthy options, unhappy about wins, the use of drugs or alcohol, inability to sleep or keep friendships, body ache complaints. While some of these seem extreme, depending on the kid or the relationship they have with you as a parent, the problems may appear in varying levels of silent protest or cry for attention.

What causes soccer burnout?

Could be so many different things. From not playing well, pushy or vicariously-motivated parent, a change in home life, a super busy schedule, friends or lack thereof {depending on age of kid}, an verbally abusive coach, or a change in personal desires coupled with a hypersensitive guilt complex {e.g., my parents invested all this money – how can I tell them I want to quit now?}. Any of these subjects could contribute to burnout.

Can kids even get burnt out?

Of course kids can get burn out on any sport! Think about it – they may feel they have no control over their environment, may consider soccer to no longer be fun, may have no true down time, no rest, or may have an overload in schedule.

What are some of the consequences of soccer burnout?

Some consequences that can come from being burnt out include stress, poor focus, poor sleep, change in personality, a decline in grades or relationships – none of these things any parent wants for their child.

So what can be done for soccer burnout?

The best news is that no one knows, cares about, or is as invested in your child’s well-being as you are. The single best thing you can do is to Listen. Shut off your own ‘noise’ factors {e.g., cell phone, computer} and take time to listen to your kid. Take a weekend for just the two of you. If you are open to some honest self-reflection, take some time to evaluate if you might be a contributing factor to their feeling the pressure they do. If you don’t see yourself in that role, then asks them questions about what is going on.

Be open to giving them options such as taking time off

Taking one season off may save your child’s passion for the next 10 years of play – including college.
Re-evaluate their goals. They may have realized that the game is no longer fun but find out why it’s no longer fun. Is there something they feel they’re missing out on? Is there a problem with someone that you’re not aware of? Have they found they would rather pursue another field such as science or art?

Finally, be open and supportive

Remind your kid that the time and money invested is never a waste because it’s for them you do these things, not their performance. While we all want our kids to have a spirit of excellence to the things which they’ve committed, we want them to sustain their activities based on self-drive and motivation, not external pressure.