Winter Olympics 2018 | Everything You Missed from the Opening Ceremony

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Lead photograph by Sam Mellish

The 2018 Winter Olympics have officially begun with the lighting of the Olympic flame at the end of a weird and wonderful opening ceremony in Pyeongchang.

Well, actually they began a couple of days ago – with a few qualification events taking place on 7 and 8 February 2018 – but apparently we’re not counting those this year.

Anyway.

The opening ceremony was – as opening ceremonies tend to be – deeply bizarre. The narrative followed four small children learning the history of South Korea and Pyeongchang through video, dance, giant paper mache animals and a bunch of strange occurrences, before the teams and athletes then eventually came out and got on with the flag waving.

Winter Olympics 2018 | Everything You Missed from the Opening Ceremony

 

After that, naturally, it got back to the story of the children, who had now grown up and become surgeons and K-pop stars among other things, there were people dressed as sunflowers and lots of glowing stuff, and then there was a fairly predictable chat from an old guy in a coat before the flame was finally lit.

So what’d you miss? We watched the Olympic opening ceremony, screenshotted and made bad jokes about it so you didn’t have to. Here’s the run down (and follow us on Twitter for more of this is in the Games!)…

It became pretty clear early on that there would be a recurring theme…

Winter Olympics 2018 | Everything You Missed from the Opening Ceremony
Winter Olympics 2018 | Everything You Missed from the Opening Ceremony

 

Though the costuming was impressive…

Winter Olympics 2018 | Everything You Missed from the Opening Ceremony

 

…It became clear that while the children were smiling, they should actually be cowering in fear of the giant bird-person looming over them.

Winter Olympics 2018 | Everything You Missed from the Opening Ceremony

 

And that was when the strange hats began.

Winter Olympics 2018 | Everything You Missed from the Opening Ceremony

 

Winter Olympics 2018 | Everything You Missed from the Opening Ceremony

 

Winter Olympics 2018 | Everything You Missed from the Opening Ceremony

And that brought us to the athletes! There was one – and only one – big question on our lips.

Winter Olympics 2018 | Everything You Missed from the Opening Ceremony

 

Then this happened. In hindsight, in was inevitable…

Winter Olympics 2018 | Everything You Missed from the Opening Ceremony

 

The Americans held up the stereotype of the Millennial generation.

 

Winter Olympics 2018 | Everything You Missed from the Opening Ceremony

This was confusing:

Winter Olympics 2018 | Everything You Missed from the Opening Ceremony

 

We enjoyed this:

Winter Olympics 2018 | Everything You Missed from the Opening Ceremony

 

And of course this:

Winter Olympics 2018 | Everything You Missed from the Opening Ceremony

 

There was no team Russia of course, but there was…

Winter Olympics 2018 | Everything You Missed from the Opening Ceremony

 

Winter Olympics 2018 | Everything You Missed from the Opening Ceremony

 

And then more hats again!

Winter Olympics 2018 | Everything You Missed from the Opening Ceremony

 

The Americans were keen to keep warm.

Winter Olympics 2018 | Everything You Missed from the Opening Ceremony

 

And the Jamaicans were upholding stereotypes.

Winter Olympics 2018 | Everything You Missed from the Opening Ceremony

 

As were the Colombians.

Winter Olympics 2018 | Everything You Missed from the Opening Ceremony

 

And the Canadians.

Winter Olympics 2018 | Everything You Missed from the Opening Ceremony

 

And then remember this?

Winter Olympics 2018 | Everything You Missed from the Opening Ceremony

 

Well then THIS happened:

Winter Olympics 2018 | Everything You Missed from the Opening Ceremony

A (sort of) famous musician appeared in an unexpected place.

Winter Olympics 2018 | Everything You Missed from the Opening Ceremony

 

The Koreas came together.

Winter Olympics 2018 | Everything You Missed from the Opening Ceremony

 

But made a bad start.

Winter Olympics 2018 | Everything You Missed from the Opening Ceremony

 

Then this dude came out and sang for a bit.

Winter Olympics 2018 | Everything You Missed from the Opening Ceremony

 

We got confused.

Winter Olympics 2018 | Everything You Missed from the Opening Ceremony

 

It got weird.

Winter Olympics 2018 | Everything You Missed from the Opening Ceremony

 

Boring stuff happened.

Winter Olympics 2018 | Everything You Missed from the Opening Ceremony

 

This guy sang ‘Imagine’, obviously.

Winter Olympics 2018 | Everything You Missed from the Opening Ceremony

 

And then back to the good stuff!

Winter Olympics 2018 | Everything You Missed from the Opening Ceremony

Right up until the finale. A good time had by all.

Winter Olympics 2018 | Everything You Missed from the Opening Ceremony

Now for the actual Winter Olympic sports! If you’ve caught the Olympic bug and want some longform features, head over to our Olympic Issue page now – there you’ll find a series of interviews, feature pieces and profiles relating to the Pyeongchang Games. Get stoked!

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