7 fears of every new teammate [& how to fix them]

Starting a new anything can be tough – new city, new job, new school, new team. I remember moving a lot as a child, so I know what it’s like to be new to a team, school or neighborhood. The challenges are very similar in any setting and at any level [including pro].  Here I have put together 7 fears of every new teammate plus how to fix them. Note: This post contains some affiliate links for your convenience. Click here to read my full disclosure policy.

A story how being the best isn’t enough

Just the other day I watched a movie about navy seals…  I don’t watch many movies, but a big piece I took from it was a new seal [the most talented] was very arrogant, so the “team” didn’t like him.  Finally through people having to tell him the hard truth he was able to learn how to act and react to his superiors and peers. 

Of course this story isn’t a soccer one, but it’s the same in everything.  Sports, work and relationships with people. 

1) Dealing with the bully

Some kids are very talented or athletic or skilled – maybe more than you or your kid. That’s okay. They may also just be loud and talkative and not necessarily a bully.

What to do: Just focus on being quiet and playing hard. Don’t respond to anything beyond a courteous comment and you’ll set the tone YOU want; you’ll be in control. Even if this person bothers you or makes you nervous, don’t let them know it. Use a good mask that shows you are not intimidated or bothered.

2) Being ignored

Don’t read into what others say or do. Statistically people are 80% more likely to be worried about your perception of them or dealing with their own problems when you think it’s all about you. Even if they are ignoring you, it might be that they are nervous. Or yes, it could be they are not nice. If they are not being courteous, it helps to think about the people who support you most.

What to do: Take the initiative and introduce yourself to the players and the coaches. Don’t wait on them to do this – and do it with a smile. This gives the impression you are approachable, a key trait when you want to be passed to in a game. 🙂

3) Being labeled as a show off

When you are the one with more talent then it can be a trend that a jealous teammate or parent tries to label you. This happens in every sport and even in the regular work force. There are always going to be people that try to bring you down, so knowing how to deal with it helps.

What to do: If you’re a skillful player then show that but overall play simple and don’t lose the ball. The team will come around and start to pull for you. Also make sure you work super hard on defense to show you are willing to work for others.

4) Being considered cocky or weak

I think today that many people, adults and kids, can be labeled too quickly and that we choose to buy into these labels with our actions.  

Your brand is not what you think, but what others think of you.  So make sure you are doing your best to have a good personal brand by practicing how to protect yourself from the 7 fears of every new teammate. 

Know that what others think of you is not truth or your identity.  You know who you are.  Remember all those who love and support you.  

What to do: If you are a confident person then encourage your teammates because you are self-confident enough to do so. If you are nervous then that is okay too. Being transparent about these things gives you more credibility. The most important thing you can have is self-belief [okay – skills are a big deal too!].

5) Coping with anxious parents

As parents we carry the agony of our children, possibly even more so because we cannot handle or fix the situation for them. That is a good thing – our children need to know how to respond appropriately and parents are their primary teachers and examples.

What to do: Be patient when the coach doesn’t immediately place your kid at starter in his ‘ideal’ position. The coach will eventually recognize his value. Remember that you need to model the traits you are asking of your kid.

6) Being ‘pigeonholed’

When I was in high school, I played at forward. I liked scoring goals. However, between my junior year in high school and my freshman year in college my body changed and I became bigger and faster. My college coach placed me at defense and my collegiate and professional career was born.

What to do: Be open to where your coach places you, even if you are uncomfortable at first. Show the coach your skill set but let them know that you can & will play any position with a good attitude. This can really help you become a collegiate standout. Why? Less than 20% of soccer players are multi-position players. [click here to tweet this]

7) Failing is one of the 7 fears of every new teammate

Realize that not all teams are a good fit. Why do you think so many professional soccer players move from team to team? Or are out of a job 2 weeks into the season. They may not be the coach’s style of player. They may not be a good fit in skill needs [or they may have a bad attitude that doesn’t justify the time of the coach – don’t let that be you btw].

What to do: Learn what you can from the experience. Ask for feedback and be prepared to receive it, even if its tough. Be proactive if you are young enough to move teams by choice – look for a team that will support your growth in skills, playing time, playing level, relationships, and more.

Remember that almost every challenge you will face in a new situation can be overcome by YOUR choices, responses, actions and attitudes.

Be patient on your new team

I can remember joining new teams my whole life. I moved from Texas to Colorado to Michigan and then back to Texas. Then once in Texas, I moved 3 or 4 times so I know what it’s like to be new to a team, school and neighborhood. Just about every time, most of the kids were not warm and welcoming. But once they saw I could play sports I was in.

When it comes to sports, people want someone who can play well. They don’t care about race, money or nothing like that. Just if you can help them win. You don’t have to be the most skilled, just work your hardest and that will be enough to make them respect you. Hard work is for sure the coaches top 3 wishes in a player.

Of all these 7 fears of every new teammate, you have a choice.  This is to remind yourself how to act.  At the same time you want to be yourself.  You can do all of these things.