How to Repel the Hotties on the Beach - For Him

"When you get a wetsuit rash on your neck, you're bound to have someone accuse you of having a hickey. It's pretty embarrassing and totally unattractive." - Timmy Reyes, O'Neill Surf Team rider

Things You'll Need

  • Bodyboards
  • Roller Skates
  • Surfing Wet Suits
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Instructions

    • 1

      Start bodyboarding and roller-skating.

    • 2

      Tell the hotties about your summer chemistry club.

    • 3

      Throw out your surf trunks and go with a pair of revealing Dolphin shorts.

    • 4

      Dance and sing to Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera and that other blonde girl who looks and sounds exactly like them.

    • 5

      Wear lots of colored zinc oxide as sunscreen. The more colors and stripes, the better.

    • 6

      Get rescued by the lifeguards regularly and do it right in front of the hotties.

    • 7

      Use an old wetsuit that gives you a neck rash that's easily mistaken for a hickey.

    • 8

      Quit surfing and start eating and drinking a lot.