How to Get an Unsportsmanlike Conduct Penalty in Ice Hockey
Instructions
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1
Realize that if you are in a lower league or an amateur league, there is much less tolerance of activity that even approaches being unsportsmanlike. In these leagues, it takes very little to end up reading "War and Peace" while sitting in the box.
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2
Learn the personalities of various referees. Develop a feeling what they will and will not tolerate. A thick-skinned ref may ignore a four-letter word or even a string of four-letter words. A thin-skinned referee may react if you criticize his favorite restaurant.
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3
Try to keep a lid on it even when losing part of it. An unsportsmanlike penalty is still a minor penalty--a misconduct is a major. Bang your stick against the board, but when the ref holds up his arms in the dreaded "T," don't add comments about the weight of his wife or girlfriend.
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4
Blow your stack when you can't hold it in, but use your mouth and not your hands. Touching a referee or linesman will place your backside in the locker room instead of the box.
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5
Try to be smart and not just profane. Try a quote from Mae West, "Your mother should have thrown you away and kept the stork."
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6
Initiate contact with an attacking player if you are a goalie. Do so other than to establish position in the crease. This will get you a penalty for unsportsmanlike conduct and you won't ever have to use naughty language.
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