How to Talk to Children Before the First Game

Children join teams for many reasons, some of which include socialization, the spirit of competition, exercise and the feeling of working together towards a common goal. Regardless of the reason children participate in sports, first games are crucial because the time and hard work from practice is put to the test. Parents and coaches often look at games with a win-or-lose attitude. However, for children, what they learn from the game is just as, if not more, important than winning or losing. Saying the right thing before the first game helps set the mentality for children during and after the game.

Instructions

    • 1

      Think about what you as a coach or parent want your children to accomplish during the first game. Depending on the age of the children playing the game, winning and losing might not be a factor, as some leagues do not keep score at the youngest levels of play. Consider what the children have been working on in practice or what they have struggled most with and use this to develop positive goals for the game.

    • 2
      Communicate goals in a positive manner.

      Communicate attainable goals for the game to the children in a positive manner. Staying positive will put less pressure on the children. Most children will already feel a mixture of excitement and pressure just before the first game. Therefore, negativity or an overemphasis on winning only puts more pressure on children. Communicating your goals to the kids will remind them of what they need to do in order to have the best chance of winning. Setting goals besides winning also gives children additional milestones they can reach even if the outcome does not result in a win. For example, if a basketball team has struggled with rebounding, you can set a team goal of getting at least 15 defensive rebounds and at least 10 offensive rebounds, among any other goals you feel are appropriate. This gives children the chance to meet smaller victories along the way to earning a win.

    • 3

      Emphasize to the children that the excitement of a win is only a temporary feeling and will eventually go away. However, what stays with the athlete is what is she learned during the game. Life lessons can be learned from what happens before, during and after the game, and talking to children about this before their first game will set the tone for games that follow. Explain to children that it is not always about the game, but it is about life. You should never give up, let up or let each other down, whether in the game or in life. What matters most is not the win. You should want to win, but trying your hardest and performing your best is what matters the most both in the game and in life.